Q&A Series: The power of coaching
A conversation with Dr. Chris Mazzarella about the Heritage Center for Child & Family Resilience:
1. What’s the difference between counseling/therapy and coaching?
Counseling and therapy are intended to treat a mental health disorder such as anxiety, depression, ADHD etc. The goal is to return someone impacted by a mental health condition to their usual or baseline functioning. Coaching, on the other hand, is geared toward helping someone meet their potential by maximizing their performance in school, work, relationships, or athletics. Coaching does not involve a mental health diagnosis nor is covered by health insurance since it’s not a medical service. Not all coaches are created equal. Anyone can hang a shingle and call themselves a coach. Coaching by a mental health professional has many benefits over non-credentialed coaches since mental health professionals are required to complete rigorous graduate level courses in human behavior, follow professional ethics, and use tools informed by research and best practices to bring about best outcomes for their clients.
2. What would you say to someone on the fence about consulting with a mental health professional or coach about their child or family member?
What do you have to lose? You consult with tax accountants, architects, and hitting coaches, why wouldn’t you get another perspective on navigating life? Your family is precious and no one has complete objectivity or expertise to make all the right decisions with respect to parenting or marriage. Most wait too long to get help creating a much bigger problem in the end. No harm in being proactive. All too often people present for marriage counseling far too late, for example. I like the saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Everyone benefits from addressing issues early. I P think I’m overstating when I say your decision to get help will have generational impacts.
3. What if my family members (child, spouse) are not interested in seeing a therapist. How do I get them onboard so I don’t feel so alone in this?
Scheduling a consultation meeting first to develop a game plan to address your concerns may be your best option. This does not commit you or your family member to a long and drawn out counseling process. I often triage family situations where we meet for only a few sessions assessing risk, identifying resources, and offering counseling as a part of a larger plan. I like to empower clients to decide whether or not they find therapy valuable by giving them an out after four sessions. Agreeing to four sessions is much less intimidating than an open ended process.
4. How do I know if my son or daughter is going through a normal “phase” or requires professional help?
Children are all wonderfully unique. They develop at different rates with varying abilities. Some develop new skills and abilities with ease while others barely keep up. While each child has their own personality, strengths and weaknesses, there should be steady progress in learning, relationships, and engaging in age appropriate behavior.
You should consider consulting with a mental health professional when year after year teachers express concerns about your child’s development. Your child may also need extra support if they demonstrate changes in their personality resulting in heightened fears, avoidance behavior, or lack of interest or pleasure in things they used to enjoy. Sure, some of these things occur in normal development but ongoing problematic behaviors are best addressed with the help of an experienced professional.
5. I’ve tried to get help before with limited success. Why should I work with a therapist through the Heritage Center for Child & Family Resilience?
Heritage has been a trusted resource for children and families in our community for over 30 years. We’ve continuously added cutting edge services to better meet the needs of our clients. Today, we are among a very small number of private practices that provide comprehensive child and family services including individual, couples, family, and group therapy, psychiatry, psychological and neuropsychological assessment, and non-medication based interventions for a variety of presenting problems. We work closely with local schools, churches, hospitals, and other support organizations to ensure our clients receive coordinated and timely care. We’re as close to a “one stop shop” as you can get in the western suburbs of Chicago. While I’m proud of the quality of services we provide, I’m most proud of the people providing these services. The Heritage team consists of the brightest, most compassionate clinicians anywhere.
6. Tell us something about you, and why you started the Heritage Center for Child & Family Resilience.
Family can be our greatest strength or the source of much of our pain. Timely, skilled support can be the difference between keeping a family together and a legacy of broken relationships. The financial cost of divorce alone is devastating to a family with unimaginable emotional impact on children and their surrounding community. After 25 years of marriage and three kids (18, 16, and 13), I’m humbly aware how difficult it is to weather life’s storms. I chose to use the word “Resilience” in our name to highlight our mission; to build resilience in ourselves and the next generation.
7. Do you work with young adults? What do I do with my adult son/daughter who lives at home and has no idea what they want to do with their life?
You're not alone. Digital forms of entertainment, social media, and the pandemic have left many of our young adults unprepared for life. I've met many young people who are riddled with anxiety and feelings of hopelessness who have not been able to visualize a bright future. And who can blame them? They do not see many role models that make "adulting" look very attractive apart from those statistical few appearing regularly on their phones who have achieved youtube fame, play professional sports, or got lucky enough to have connections to get them a high paying job out of college. It's just too easy to live at home and avoid risking failure.
Help is available. The Heritage Center for Child & Family Resilience is offering Life University, a course specifically designed for young adults (ages 18-24) who are struggling to get traction in life. This experiential course is broken down into 8 modules covering such topics as healthy lifestyle, power of habits, emotion management, relational health, career development/networking and personal finance. I welcome the opportunity to tell you more about this unique offering.